50/50

Second thoughts. Don't be surprised. I am, after all, an Aquarius trapped in a Capricorn's body. When I told my sister about the way I am currently feeling (confused, deterred, etc.) she seemed surprised and sad. Doesn't she know me? Anyway, this week's second thoughts are brought to you by confusion (career mainly: teaching and grad school) and ticking clocks (wanting a baby: foster or my own, sooner than later) and my planets being where they are. So, all the eclipses and tectonic shifts that have been rockin' my world for the last 18 months are over and I can really feel myself starting to settle. I really want some sort of clarity and stability but admittedly I am not exactly sure how to find it. One minute I feel 100% sure of my choice to transition into teaching, the next I'm like "teenagers: blehhh". I don't want to go through all these hoops and measures to be able to teach and love it for only a year or so. And then there's money. I have been hearing that teachers in Cali get paid crap, and well, no, that just won't do. I have yet to investigate this myself and come up with solid, factual numbers, but it still scares me. In typical Capriquarius fashion, I am applying to a teaching program that will keep me in Philly even though I am planning to move to Cali...doesn't make sense? Nothing I do ever does...